The more you think about yourself, the happier you are?
A values affirmation exercise
Turns out, thinking about ourselves - specifically our values - makes us happier. Research supports something called “values affirmation”. To affirm your values, you might look at a values inventory or list of values. Maybe you journal using some values prompts, or perhaps you use some values-based questions to chat with a friend or partner. Values affirmation is taking a bit of time to focus on what makes you tick.
And this boosts our happiness, because thinking about what we value helps drown out the noise.
It helps when our inner-voice is comparing, envious or not measuring up. When we remind ourselves why we started working toward that goal or why we made the life choices we made, it shakes away that feeling that our goals are tied to our self-worth. It separates who we are and what we want, from what we are currently achieving. It tamps down the noise that says maybe we shouldn’t try again.
It helps when we are in a waiting or wanting season of life. When we remind ourselves why we are waiting, it clarifies why it is worth waiting for. It frees us up a bit, to be more patient, because we can be comfortable in our own skin while we wait. It becomes a time of reflection, on who we have become from the lessons we have learned. And maybe even a time to smile at this person we have become. We can reach out and hold hands with our inner self and wait, valued.
It helps when we are feeling frustrated and confused with other people’s beliefs. When we clarify our personal values, it reminds us that values are different than beliefs. Beliefs are how we go about things. Values are why we care. So that person who has such a different belief than you, might very well value the same things as you.
So… ready to get a little happier?
Choose one to think/journal/chat about:
What interests did you have as a kid? What interested other kids but not you?
What interests are you willing to spend money on?
What articles/media topics are you willing to spend time reading/watching?
If you were in a small group chatting, what topics would keep your interest for a long time?
Then ask yourself why do these things interest you? (Click here for a values list.)
Choose one to think/journal/chat about:
What qualities do your closest friends or older children think you value?
What qualities do you tend to notice/admire in others?
What qualities of your partner make you feel connected/bonded?
What qualities would you love someone to say about you?
Choose one to think/journal/chat about:
If I notice that I’m acting ______, it really bothers me.
If someone were to say I was _____, it would make me feel like they don’t really know me.
If someone were to say I was _____, I would be hurt.
You are worth spending time getting to know. You are a valuable person to those around you, not because of what you have to offer but because of your unique combination of values. You are valuable not because of what you do, but simply because you are of value.
Until next time,
Laura
