A Seriously Effective Self-Care Technique
Mindfulness Talk:
As school season arrives, it carries a wave of seriousness into our warm weather. But the good news is, this seriousness doesn’t have to be the opposite of self-care summer. In fact, research is clear that the most effective self-care isn’t carefree beach days, but finding one thing to be serious about - a purposeful pastime pursuit. Seriously? Yep! In 1963, Betty Friedman noticed a huge uptick of depression among women, and started the conversation of having a serious pastime pursuit. She started the research wave, and it continues today.
So what exactly does it mean to have a serious pastime that brings you purpose?
First of all, it means that this pastime is not for family or work, but for you. Volunteering for the kid’s activities brings us social gifts and a dopamine reward for good work ethic, but that is not the same as having a serious pursuit of your own.
Secondly, it’s an interest that you take seriously because it brings you pleasure. So this eliminates pursuits like eating healthier or reorganizing a space for better efficiency. These things bring us gifts of fresh energy and achievement, but they don’t bring us enjoyment. The pastime that you choose needs to bring you a sense of enjoyment and accomplishment and pleasure.
Next, this pursuit needs to have a serious goal. Things like bubble baths and good books bring us much needed breathers, but they don’t include a serious goal. Now, if you start a weekly blog for those books you are reading, that would have a goal! This goal does have a caveat. If your goal is outward facing (like how many likes your book blog gets each week), make sure your sense of self worth isn’t tied to it. The self-care research is clear. You don’t need to be amazing at this pursuit. You don’t need to be accomplished. But you do need a clear, inward facing goal.
Finally, a serious pastime pursuit is one that you are willing to dedicate time to each week. It should be an interest that can sustain your attention and engross you. In fact, you might even find that you daydream about it when you aren’t doing it. That’s when you really know you’re hooked! You are serious enough about this that you are willing to get up early to do it, or give up some of your me-time to do it. You don’t have to spend hours and hours each week, but you are serious enough to dedicate time each week to this one pursuit.
You might be intrigued now! A form of self-care that is more effective than beach days? Sign me up! But how does someone find their serious pursuit? Well, the good news is that opening your mind to this search is in and of itself a mini form of self-care! Anytime you search yourself for what you enjoy and what you are passionate about, you are working towards authenticity. And don’t be surprised if you need to do this search for a new pursuit several times in your lifetime. As your life seasons change, so do your interests and needs. And every time is an amazing opportunity to strengthen your authenticity.
One way is to search for your serious pursuit, is by doing a personal inventory. By answering the questions, you begin to clarify what you are passionate about. Consider trying out this one! https://hobbystack.net/quiz
Another way is through meditation. If you are serious about finding your serious pursuit, try out this meditation. It might not give you the answer right away, but it will remind your body what a serious pursuit can bring to your life.
Finding Present Meditation
Begin to imagine the sound of waves, or use this video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdGs4pvgR9M
Notice the light, playful sound of the waves. Let your breaths come and go as they please, light and playful like the waves. Just breathe and feel.
Now begin noticing the rhythm of the waves. Let your breath find a rhythm. Welcome in this more intentional and purposeful breathing.
When you are ready, open your eyes and end here. Or, begin the mindfulness meditation.
Mindfulness Meditation
Slowly move your awareness to your head. Guide your memory to a time when you spent a whole day focussed on one thing. Maybe it was reading a book or building a project. Maybe it was when you were a child. Whatever memory comes up first just go with it. Just breathe in the waves and let your head remember what it felt like to be so engrossed in one thing.
As the memory fades away, go back to feeling the rhythm and purpose of your breath.
Now move your awareness to your throat. Guide your memory to a time when you felt like you made a bit of difference in the world. Maybe it was a personal mission or a passion project. Maybe it was when you were a child. Whatever memory comes up first just go with it. Just breathe in the waves and let your throat remember what that passion and focus felt like.
As the memory fades away, go back to feeling the rhythm and purpose of your breath.
Now move your awareness to your heart. Guide your memory to a time when you did something that filled your heart with awe. Maybe it was a story you heard or an accomplishment that you felt. Whatever memory comes up first just go with it. Just breathe in the waves and let your body remember when your heart felt awe.
As the memory fades away, go back to feeling the rhythm and purpose of your breath.
Now move your awareness to your hands. Guide your memory to a time when you used your hands to create something. Maybe it was artsy or maybe it was helpful to the world somehow. Whatever memory comes up first just go with it. Just breathe in the waves and let your body remember when you used your hands to create something with purpose.
As the memory fades away, go back to feeling the rhythm and purpose of your breath.
Now move your awareness to your hips. Guide your memory to a time when you sat, still and focussed. Maybe you were in nature or maybe you were in that quiet place. Whatever memory comes up first just go with it. Just breathe in the waves and let your hips remember what it felt like to sit in stillness.
As the memory fades away, go back to feeling the rhythm and purpose of your breath.
Now move your awareness to your whole body. Guide your memory to a time when you did something that affected your whole body. Maybe it was dancing or full-body laughing or something in nature. Whatever memory comes up first just go with it. Just breathe in the waves and let your whole body remember what it felt like to put your whole body into something.
As the memory fades away, go back to feeling the rhythm and purpose of your breath.
Closing Routine
When you are ready, rub fingers together and take three cleansing breaths. Or a closing routine of your choice.
